Cultivating Realistic Hope: What is “Realistic Hope”

cultivating realistic hope series Jan 20, 2021

In times of uncertainty, we often turn to the news media, leaders, and experts for answers. Our energy becomes depleted at we sort through conflicting reports. Our trust weakens which creates more uncertainty. As more bad news continues to stream in, we turn away.

In turning away, we distract ourselves from intrusive rumination, nagging guilt, loss, and trauma. We seek relief. Distraction techniques abound. We focus our attention for two minutes on a pleasant memory, image, or even a focus on our breath. Thank goodness for my Apple watch that prompts me to “breathe”.

Some of our distraction behaviours do more harm than good. I call them the binge-behaviours: often impulsive (and sometimes compulsive) that we develop to numb us from our thoughts and feelings.

Do any of these behaviours resonate with you?

  • binge-watching series. Netflix and Crave are my new “close” friends during self-isolation
  • binge-watching YouTube. There’s something perverse about bingeing on productivity and planner videos
  • compulsive-snacking. It’s just too easy to order a HUGE bag of candy from Amazon
  • online shopping. Yes, the smile on the box does make me smile too and the occasional wave to the delivery person is often my only face-to-face social interaction beyond video conferencing

These types of behaviours further separate us from others and sabotage any real sense of hope.

What can we do?

We need to ease our emotional pain and prevent the problem from becoming worse. My quality assurance background has made me a serious advocate of preventive and predictive action. Cultivating realistic hope is both preventive and predictive action for moving forward during the pandemic and through our fears.

What is “Realistic Hope”

Realistic hope is not based on the perspective that everything was, is, or will be fine. To the contrary, hope is about a breadth of perspective with real, specific possibilities that call us to action. Realistic hope requires critical thinking - the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgement.

I like how Rebecca Solnit describes realistic hope in Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities (Haymarket Books, 2020): “Hope is not a sunny, everything-is-getting-better narrative, though it may be a counter to the everything-is-getting-worse narrative. You could call it an account of complexities and uncertainties, with openings.”

Unrealistic Optimism -  “False Hope”

On the other hand, unrealistic optimism, or false hope, is not based on critical thinking. There are benefits of being optimistic, but optimism without any real basis or plan is a hollow promise and not the same as realistic hope. False hope is not clearly linked to realistic planning for the future.

“Hope is the sum of the mental willpower and waypower that you have for your goals.” ~ C.R. Snyder, The Psychology of Hope: You Can Get There from Here (FreePress 2010)

Hopeful People

Hopeful people understand that what they do matters, even if they do not know how it will matter, or for whom. Hopeful people are in tune with a high level of self-actualization. In times of uncertainty, they embrace the unknown and create space for shaping the outcome, individually and collectively. Hopeful people recognize uncertainty, think of new pathways around obstacles, and take action.

What do you think? What are you doing to cultivate realistic hope during the pandemic and this time of constant flow of fearful news?

What actions are you taking to manage change and cultivate realistic hope for your personal and professional transformation and wellbeing in 2021?

For inspiration and concrete strategies for nurturing realistic hope and optimism both personally and professionally, watch my recent interview with Arti Sharma on YouTube. “Connect the Dots: Reinventing Our Life and Work with Entrepreneurial Skills.”

Effective change for transformation is not a DIY project. Let’s start the conversation about effective change and transformation for your business and for you. Let’s work together to implement effective change that feeds your realistic hope and optimism even when change is forced upon you, when change blind-sides you, or when fear immobilizes you.

I work with women business owners to thrive in work and life by validating their choices and amplifying their voices. These women are moving forward with realistic hope and adapting their behaviour in situations that require a different approach. Key tools and resources for leading dynamic change and transformation in business, work, and life include:  TRACTION (EOS Model) and Emotional Intelligence

Start with the complimentary online mini-course “Your Building Blocks to Emotional Well-Being and Resilience

Contact me at [email protected], at 416-804-4383, on LinkedIn and Maestro’s Facebook.

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